


A Tale of Two Kitties

by Anonymous



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Agreste, F/F, F/M, Ladybug - Freeform, M/M, Miraculous Ladybug - Freeform, Multi, adrien agreste - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-29 04:36:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6359545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is not as it seems in Paris, when superheroes Chat Noir and Ladybug meet a new foe created by Hawk Moth, called the Dildozer releases his akuma-fuled pheromones into the French air.  Will our heroes make it through a day of raunchiness and sexual encounters?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rise of the Dildozer

"Marinette! Wake up! Time for school!" said Marinette's mom from downstairs.

Marinette woke up suddenly. She was late for French school. She hurriedly grabbed her clothes and Tikki and left for school. Her father handed her a baguette on the way the out the door. "Have a good day at school sweetums!" he called out.

Marinette ran out without saying goodbye. Her father turned to Marinette's mom, and smiled. "Now I can show you what a real baguette looks like," he said, unzipping his pants. 

In case you were wondering, his penis was proportionate to his gigantic, inhuman frame, clocking in at eighteen inches. By now, Marinette's mom's vagina was used to this French beast, giving it the pet name "Eiffel Tower". But this isn't a story about how Marinette's mom gets railed by an egregiously large schlong, it's about our heroes, Chat and Ladybug.

Marinette arrived to school, albeit a bit late. "Tikki, I'm late!" she sighed.

"Dude I know" Tikki said "We knew when we were leaving the house that you were gonna be late!"

Marinette sighed. Being late meant less time she could staring at Adrien Agreste, fashion model extraordinaire, and his fine, tight ass in designer jeans. When she got to science class, it had already started, and she hurriedly sat down in her seat. "Phew" she sighed "Just in time to stare at Adrien's gold locks."

Chloe turned around and sneered at Marinette. "Isn't she going to be in trouble for being late??" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Everyone turned. Why the fuck did Chloe have to scream? Saying it in a normal voice would have sufficed.

"Chloe," Adrien said, "You didn't have to scream at the top of your lungs."

"Well you didn't have to give me multiple orgasms in the bathroom before class, but that didn't stop you," snapped Chloe.

Adrien was taken aback. He had never given Chloe an orgasm before, nor had he slept with her in order to do so. Plagg told Adrien "She was masturbating to you, retard."

A look of realization washed over Adrien. "Masturbation?" he said. "What's that?"

Plagg sighed. He said "It's what I do to cheese."

"Oh, so masturbation is another word for eating" Adrien said.

Everyone was weirded out that Adrien was talking into his backpack in the middle of class. "Fucking famous people are weird" Kim said.

Just then, a muscular, rippling boy walked into the classroom. He was tan, American, and had flowing, brunette locks, tipped with blonde on the end. Every female in the room felt their ladybits quiver. Marinette drooled a little, Tikki gasped, and Alya's jaw basically hit the floor.

"Class, pay attention" said the professor. "We have a new student. I'd like you all to meet, Evan. He's a new transfer student from America."

"Hey guys," Evan said, "Does anyone here like the gym?"

Kim stood up, "BRO. I LOVE THE GYM! COME SIT NEXT TO ME!"

Evan walked over to Kim, smiling. He had made a new friend!

"Do you see the bulge on that guy?" Alya said.

Marinette stammered. She did see the bulge on that guy, but didn't want to give up her unwavering affection for Adrien.

Adrien, however, was PISSED. Who was this new guy, and why was everyone paying attention to him? Adrien was buff. He was cool. "Plagg," said Adrien, "Why don't the girls look at me like this? And what's with all the squishing noises when they move around in their chairs?"

Plagg just wanted cheese. "You aren't buff, idiot." he said. "You're so unfamiliar with the gym, you call it James."

"Dammit Plagg" Adrien sighed. "You're right. I guess I'll have to kick his ass after school then. Time for a kitty beatdown."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Evan was hanging out with Kim after school. Just then, Chat Noir appeared. He smashed Evan in the face with his pole.

"What the shit dude?" Evan said, "That was my face!"

"Don't you ever hit on the girls in school again," said Chat Noir, flying away.

Kim helped Evan up. "Who the fuck was that?" Evan said.

"Oh, that's Chat Noir. He is a cat. Just chillin' out," said Kim

"He seems like a fuckboy," Evan said, brushing himself off.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hawk Moth was in his lair, being menacing and stuff. "I see the hatred in your heart, new kid," Hawk Moth said, preparing an akuma.

"Go FIND HIM" he said, releasing the akuma.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Evan was walking to his new French home from French school. "Man, I sure wish I could fit in, but I don't think these French people even know about sex," he said, pulling out his pocket pussy.

Just then the akuma flew into Evan's pocket pussy, transforming it, and him, into an alter, evil-ego.

The akuma overtook him. He now had a black gimp suit, complete with bondage gear, and whip. "I am...The Dildozer," he said.

A neon butterfly appeared over his eyes.

"YOU MUST FIND CHAT AND LADYBUG AND BRING ME THEIR MIRACULOUS," Hawk Moth bellowed.

"I will do thy bidding, master," said The Dildozer.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adrien was hanging out in his room, bored out of his mind. "Man Plagg, even though I'm rich, I'm bored as shit," he said.

Plagg sneered. "You're spoiled dude," he said.

"Yeah, but my dad doesn't love me, so it's kind of a trade-off deal."

"True that," said Plagg, shoving cheese down his throat.

Just then, The Dildozer crashed through Adrien's window.

"What the fuck?!" Adrien yelled.

"Chat Noir" said the Dildozer "I'm here to take your miraculous!"

"Wait, what did you say?"

"I'm here to take your miraculous!"

"No, before that."

"Chat Noir?"

"Yeah, I'm not Chat Noir," Adrien lied.

"Dude, you're literally on billboards, you look exactly like him. Same frame and everything. Is this not common knowledge?"

"I mean, no, not really."

"Do you know who I am?" said the Dildozer.

"Uhhh, no clue dude."

"Wow, French people are fucking dumb" said the Dildozer, pulling out his dildo laser beam gun.

He shot a beam at Adrien and Plagg, who collapsed to the ground.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH-aaaaaaah...huh?" Adrien stammered. "I don't feel any different."

"Oh, you will," laughed the Dildozer, leaving through the hole he made.

"Plagg, what the fuck was that...Plagg?"

Adrien turned around, and saw Plagg staring at him. Adrien's dick hardened. "What the fuck is going on?"

Plagg's body shifted, revealing an 8 inch cock. "Adrien...I..."

"Shhh Plagg, no words."

Adrien embraced Plagg tenderly, kissing him on his small, feline mouth. It was an extremely passionate kiss, their tongues intertwining. Adrien let out a small sigh of ecstasy, before moving his mouth onto Plagg's throbbing cock.

Adrien swirled his tongue on the tip before taking the whole shaft into his mouth. Plagg moaned in pure bliss. "Adrien I-I feel an uprising in my stomach" Plagg said "I-I hav-have no idea what it is"

Plagg could barely finish his sentence before thick, creamy jizz shot down Adrien's throat. Adrien didn't mind, and swallowed all of it. Plagg fell into Adrien's hands, panting and gasping from exhaustion.

Just then, the two of them snapped out of it. "WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED PLAGG?" screamed Adrien "IT TASTED LIKE FUCKING CAMEMBERT CHEESE!"

"It very well could have been" said Plagg "We Kwamis process food in an odd way."

"Are you not worried about what the fuck just happened? Before that...BDSM looking guy hit me with whatever that laser beam was, I had NO idea about sex, and now I know literally everything there is to know!"

"Adrien, we have to calm down!"

"Easy for you to say, you just nutted in my fucking mouth you piece of shit!"

Adrien slapped Plagg across the face, and Plagg fell to the ground. "I'm not into that, Adrien" Plagg stammered, getting up.

"This isn't the time for jokes!" Adrien yelled from the bathroom, brushing his teeth for obvious reasons.

He washed his face and wanted to cry. His first sexual encounter, with his kwami of all things. What could be worse? Then he snapped out of it. 

"PLAGG!" he yelled "THIS COULD BE THE WORK OF HAWKMOTH! WE HAVE TO FIND LADYBUG!"

"Hold on" Plagg said "I'm exhausted. I need a cigarett-"

Plagg could barely finish his sentence before Adrien scooped him up and ran out the door.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hawk Moth was in his lair, pissed off. "DILDOZER, YOU USELESS PIECE OF GARBAGE, WHY DIDN'T YOU GRAB HIS MIRACULOUS? I KNOW YOU SAW CHAT NOIR!"

Dildozer laughed, a neon butterfly around his face. "I have a few pit stops to make first to make everything...perfect. The time will come, Hawk Daddy...and so will they."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adrien was just about to leave his giant fucking house, until Nathalie crept up behind him.

"Master Agreste?" she said.

"Oh uh, NATHALIE!" Adrien stammered "I was just-uh-going to..."

Nathalie placed a single finger on Adrien's lips. 

"I know where you're going."

"Uh-"

"And it's down on me."

"Oh goddammit not again!" Adrien cried out as Nathalie grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in for an intense liplock


	2. Assistance from his Assistant

Marinette sat in her room, wondering what the day would bring. Just then, she saw a News Alert on the television.

"Reports are coming in from downtown Paris that a bondage-clad menace is causing chaos in the city! We...we can't really show what is going on on television but it's...extremely graphic and sexual in nature."

"Tikki!" Marinette said, "We have to go help!"

"Okay!" Tikki said, "Call Chat Noir and then we can go!"

"You're right!" Marinette exclaimed, "Chat's resourcefulness and human shield-ness can be of great use to us!"

Marinette pulled out her communicator and dialed Chat. It rang and rang, with no answer.

"Where could that stupid cat be?" she wondered.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adrien's communicator rang in his pocket, as Nathalie caressed his face, kissing him deeply and passionately. "This isn't at all like last time," Adrien thought, "This is much more...welcoming."

Adrien, equipped with extreme sexual knowledge as a residual effect from the Dildozer's laser beam, ran his fingers through Nathalie's silky hair while kissing her neck. He undid her usually well-kept bun, and let her hair fall down. "Adrien-" she gasped, his lips still warm on her neck, "I-I didn't know you were so...experienced"

Adrien pulled away from Nathalie's neck, his fingers still tussling her hair. "I...I want you Nathalie." Adrien said.

Nathalie pulled him in for another extremely sensual kiss. Adrien truly wanted this more than anything at this moment. He never thought he could be enamored with any woman other than Ladybug, and yet here he was, embracing his father's assistant.

"Come to my bedroom," Nathalie said, pulling Adrien there and not giving him much of a choice.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door slammed behind Adrien and Nathalie as they made out, fumbling with buckles and buttons and throwing clothes off left and right. Nathalie was down to a lace bra and panties, and Adrien in his boxers. Nathalie pushed Adrien on the bed, and straddled him, grinding on his hips and crotch.

"I've...uh...never undone a bra before..." Adrien stammered.

"It's fine, but you should really learn that as a skill for the future, Master Adrien," Nathalie said, undoing her bra, "You never know when you'll need to use it on a certain...mixed French and Asian girl."

Adrien laughed. "Who? Marinette? Not a chance! She's like a-" 

Adrien gasped as Nathelie interrupted him by straddling his face with her crotch. It smelled...sweet. Adrien happily ran his tongue up and down Nathalie's lips, eventually finding her clit and focusing there. Nathalie reached back around and began to finger herself while Adrien gently licked her private parts, eventually bringing her to orgasm, multiple times.

Nathalie moved herself off of Adrien's mouth, and lowered her mouth to his crotch area. She pulled his boxers off, and took his erect penis into her mouth, bobbing up and down, while licking the shaft slowly.

"Wow," Adrien thought, "This must be why Plagg enjoyed this so much."

Naturally, Adrien was inexperience, so Nathalie brought him to orgasm in around twenty seconds. 

"Nath...Nathalie...I feel a...I feel an uprising in my...stom-ugh unf," Adrien stammered

Nathalie sucked harder and faster, pumping and working Adrien's shaft with her hand, while focusing on the head of his cock with her mouth. Adrien began to cum, and Nathalie pulled his cock out of her mouth and let Adrien cum all over her swollen boobs. She licked his cum off of her tits when he was finished, and Adrien sighed from exhaustion.

"Thank you, Master Agreste" Nathalie said, kissing Adrien while putting her hair back in a bun, "I'm going to go wash up now."

Nathalie left the room, and Adrien laid there, dumbfounded. 

"Jesus, Plagg," Adrien said, "I can't tell if this Dildozer guy is a supervillain, or my personal hero."

Plagg flew out of the pocket of Adrien's pants, which were strewn across the floor.

"Adrien," Plagg said, "We have to go, the Dildozer is terrorizing downtown Paris!"

"Those lucky, lucky people" Adrien said, just before Plagg slapped him across the face, beckoning him to leave.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marinette ran as fast as she could, nearly reaching downtown Paris, before being stopped by Chloe.

"Hey NERD" said Chloe, "Where are you running so fast? Is there a nerd convention in town?!"

Chloe laughed hysterically at her own, terrible joke. Marinette rolled her eyes. Tikki contemplated suicide.

"Chloe, you have to get out of here, you're in danger!" Marinette exclaimed.

"In danger of what? Having to see your stupid face again?" Chloe laughed.

As the two were arguing, they didn't see the leather-clad figure with a pocket-pussy shaped laser rifle walking at them from one of the alleys next to them...


	3. Cat Fight

"Chloe, I'm serious, you're in grave danger right now," Marinette pleaded, "You have to leave!"

"No way, loser," Chloe sneered, "It's not happening. I have to buy at least 100 new fashion items today or I won't be satisfied."

The Dildozer leapt out from the alley, firing a laser from his Pocket Pussy rifle.

"MARINETTE!" Tikki screamed.

Marinette quickly dodged the laser, and looked back at the leather-clad villain standing behind her, who was lining up another shot.

"Hold still this time, hun," he said.

"Who are YOU?" Chloe yelled, pointing at him.

The Dildozer lowered his rifle and looked at the whiny, incessant blonde girl. "I'm The Dildozer," he said, raising his rifle again, "Now prepare to-"

"SHUT UP!" Chloe screamed, "Your outfit is just AWFUL and just UGH! You look STUPID!" 

The Dildozer lowered his rifle. He looked at Marinette. "Is she always like this?"

"Yeah," Marinette said, half-panicked, "It's kind of...her thing."

"Being a total cunt?" said the Dildozer.

"Woah, language buddy," Tikki said from Marinette's pocket.

"I mean...she has some redeeming qualities," Marinette retorted.

"Such as...?" The Dildozer seemed puzzled. He leaned up against a wall, holstering his rifle.

"Well...she...uh..." Marinette couldn't think of anything good about Chloe.

"I'M PRETTY AND SMART!" Chloe interjected, "ADRIEN AGRESTS WANTS ME IN HIS BED TOO!"

"Somehow...I don't think he wants -you-" laughed The Dildozer.

"How would YOU know, FREAK?" Chloe responded.

"Call it a hunch." he said, then turned to Marinette, "Look, I was gonna shoot you with this beam, it makes you overtly horny and want to fuck the next person you see. But GOD, that blonde girl is such a bitch and I just CAN NOT in my right, currently-controlled mind do that to someone. It's fucked up! She's such a bitch!"

Marinette stood there, jaw agape.

"I mean really," The Dildozer continued, turning to Chloe, "How the fuck do you have friends? How cliche is it that you're this total stuck up piece of shit but you're super popular? You have ZERO redeeming qualities. Like, fuck man I don't even KNOW where to begin with you as a person! You're the human equivalent of an alarm going off at 7 AM when you've only gotten a few hours of sleep!"

"Yeah well at least I'm not UGLY!" Chloe screamed.

"Don't even get me started, honey. Look, I've gotta go find these two kids and take their Miracu-whatevers and then give them to Hawk Daddy," The Dildozer said. "Sorry to bother you miss, you've already had enough punishment, clearly," he apologized to Marinette, gesturing at Chloe.

He promptly jumped with incredible speed and force, flying over the buildings next to Marinette and Chloe.

"DID YOU SEE THAT MARINETTE I SAVED US, I'M JUST LIKE LADYBUG NOW" Chloe screeched running away.

Marinette stood there in disbelief. A laser? That makes people horny? Who was the masked man? Did he say Hawk Daddy?

"Marinette he's trying to get your Miraculous!" Tikki said, flying into view. 

Marinette snapped out of it. "Tikki, we have to do something!"

"Do you have a plan, Marinette?"

"Yeah...but I don't know if you're going to like it."

"What is it?"

"We have to convince that guy to use his powers to make Adrien want me."

"Marinette! We can't do that! He's working for Hawk Moth! What if he finds out you're-"

"He won't. But Tikki...this could be my chance. I-"

Tikki slapped Marinette.

"Tikki!"

"Marinette, no! Lust isn't love! If you truly love Adrien and he truly loves you, it will happen! But if you just hook up with him under someone's influence, then it won't mean anything!"

"Like the time I kissed Chat to remove Dark Cupid's curse?"

"Exactly! He didn't remember it-"

"Thank god, stupid cat" Marinette sighed

"-because it was part of the akuma's power!"

Tikki was right. Even if Adrien did want her, it would all be reversed when they defeated The Dildozer and purified his akuma.

"But...what if I just didn't purify the akuma?" Marinette thought to herself. "What if I gave up my miraculous...maybe Hawk Moth would let the Dildozer's spell linger...so I could finally be with Adrien..."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Author's note: Thank you guys for all of the love and support. I really appreciate it. Sorry there was no graphic sex in this chapter, but let's be real. Fuck Chloe. Fucking bitch. 

Any way, I'll be updating this every 1,000 hits from now on. Thanks again for the support. Much love.)


End file.
